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July 27 although...although in a matter of a month... a series of unfortunate events have occured... i am thankful to say that the path is back on track! many good things are happening again, ....( although it will be hard to move on knowing that i want someone that i may never have-Long crazy story, that would seem to only happen in the movies. hehe).
but anyways, just a very BRIEF update on my life. in a matter of a month, i quit my job, feared for my life, could not trust anyone, lost love... and more.... but on the flip side... i turned 26, finished all my degree requirements, got a more relaxing but fullfilling job and am back in the game of planning on teaching overseas.
during the down time though, i really had to believe in myself... usually i would take blame for my pain ... but with such a degree of several unfortunate events... i came to the conclusion that sometimes you have to take it one day at a time... control is limited... and again believe in my selfworth. woohoo. if we dont believe in ourselves, how can we believe and help eachother.
so yeah, it was crazy, but i made it... and continue to do so. July 06 uh oh...I just wanted everyone to know that i am having computer problems at the moment. Hopefully they can be fixed! I hope to respond to the comments soon. Sooo good to hear from you!
k, Toodles June 23 FinallyI finally saw the movie King Kong last night. it was one of the most beautiful movies i have seen in a long time. I'm not sure if i would make it one of my top 10 favs... but i can definately see why everyone loved it so much.
toodles
June 17 still learningI came to the conclusion that i am far too honest(with what i know so far) for my own good. I am too comfortable with saying what i know and feel, not realizing that i should first get to know someone before that happens. and well, i hurt people when i do this, but not realizing or meaning to be this way. again it relates to my msn name "illmakeitreal"... BUT sometimes peoples' ideas clash. and i have to respect that. as they should respect mine. and in the end... no one should be hurt or in danger.
Love June 11 all i ever wantedor maybe all everyone ever wanted... was honesty. but maybe thats hard to do when everyone has their own realities... somehow i still believe basic honesty is possible... its like common sense. compassion. but... even that is hard to do these days. this not a blame game though... just things going on in my PERSONAL life these days.
anyone taking offense to it... well that is your choice. wasnt my intention. just trying to be honest.
Love
June 08 Are they equal?Someone who acknowledges their mistakes and corrects it... equal to... someone who openly makes the same mistake and has to live with it everyday???
April 01 KoreaSo i'm still seriously considering teaching in Korea. As i've been thinking about it, i've decided how long i plan to stay and where i would like to go. I hope to stay no longer than 1.5 years. And i now feel i would enjoy my experience more if i took a position in a major city. Just so there is always something to do, a chance to still meet other english speaking foreigners and most importantly, more opportunities to have fun and party. the two cities i plan to choose from are Seoul and Busan. Ideally, i would prefer Busan over Seoul, just because of the location. its right on the coast... and further away from North Korea. However, the deal breaker will be the city that has a better electronic music scene. i'm serious! i want to have access to great international djs. more opportunity than what i have here in canada. Location, Location, Location. So far it looks as though Seoul is better. soooo, i have much searching to do in the mean time. and one more course to complete in may before i can get my degree by october. wooo, it feels good to be so close to finishing. and to have a break from school!
Anyways, if anyone knows about any good electronic music clubs in Busan korea, let me know.
March 18 Don't forget to try This space is for sharing the goods.hehehehe. Well i'm sure we all do that in our blogs/spaces.
And ive realized with all my studying and hybernating and we cant forget slacking.... ive been out of the loop. because today i discovered i could have went to an amazing concert. Dallas Green the vocalist of AlexisonFire and now City and Colour was here in Hamilton last month. but of course i didnt know that cause i had not heard of him until i finally tuned into MuchMore music today. It's been a while!
So they featured two of his latest songs which i adore and am here to share the love
the first is called "save the scissors"
you can listen to it here
the second is called "the grace"
you can listen and view it in the link below, however, the video and sound is crap, but still, worth seeing! I love Dallas's Voice and the beautifully poetic video.
the neverending white lights is not his band however. but a band of mixed artists. and worth checking out as well. very cool!
"You pray to stars that can help you get by
And all at once you forget to try" -lyrics from "the grace"
Keep trying - MWAH March 10 urban ninjaOh man! This clip is so funny i almost cry. not tired of it yet. Oh and make sure the volume is on. its just not the same without it.
i would love to do something like that myself with someone. anyone want to be a ninja with me?
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA
eeeeeeeeee
oh yeah, cant for get CHEEEESE ninja
February 20 i spyin a bathroom stall at York...i found an altered version of the following quote ...
US poet (1894 - 1962)
I Loved it!!! gotta love the fine arts department, hehe
February 14 ChangesSoooooooo, I've been going through the 1/4 life crisis thing, but its over since I've been making and brainstorming some big changes in my life. The biggest one is to get out on my own, take a break from school and feel more independent. Intially, the plan was to move to downtown Hamilton, work and save money. But the new plan is to teach english abroad. basically, because there's more pros in this idea. I'll save more money, travel, experience a new culture - CULTURE SHOCK, gain more experience teaching, and have a work routine. Plus, since I wont be commited to anyone, it seems right. I dont feel i have much of a life here to be honest, i am always at so many different places at once. I lost several friends from my past, and cant really say i have any close friends either. I also don't have a boyfriend. So i kinda feel its convient to start somewhere new for a little while. The only 2 things that really keep me going here are my family, and my education/future. Basically the plan is to save money and come back to get my teaching degree and eventually build my life close to my family yet on my own. of course nothing is absolute, but thats the plan i look forward to at this point.
Now where do i hope to teach ESL? So far Korea seems to be the leading place, because its easier to save alot more money. Can you say paying off your student loan in 2 years? well, i might not be so soon, but I hope to have paid off at least half of it by that time.
Anyways, first things first, I need to get my BA. I wont be doing the 4 year BFA just yet. I need a break. been in school toooo long. yeah, so theres one more course I need to take over the summer and then I should have my degree by november. and hopefully be gone by the new year! Although I was hoping to leave alot sooner, I'll get to have more time sorting out my options and hopefully save some money.
Anyways, another reason for doing this is that i want to continue being a good role model for my brothers and sisters. I dont want to struggle with a big student loan or come out of school miserable because i am still unemployed and have a big debt to pay. plus the challenge of experiencing a new culture can be a valuable lesson as well. no one in my family has done such a thing before. Id take great pleasure in being the first. Plus its a BIG step towards independence which i need greatly!
Anyways, those are my goals. I'm really happy about it. Of course this wont be an easy experience. but i feel its worth the challenge.
January 21 More WorksHey everyone, I added the newest works that I've done during this school year. As you can see my style has changed. I am not just recreating photos that I take. I am creating new realities by montaging images together. They are a sort of abstract landscapes or dimentions. It's been a struggle for me though, because composition and colour are very challenging especially when your trying to bring so many different elements together. Hopefully this semester wont be so slow and i'll have more work to show. I think i was inspired to go this way after i did the series in last years painting class. "Move", "Beyond" and even my earlier work "Above speed" all played with abstracting and bringing together elements to make a different space.
January 10 Dreams do come true...Wow its been a while. I need to catch up.... This one is a good one - Full of good news. Only the best kind...
So first of all, i have to Congratulate my friend Peter for getting a job! I dont mean that in a sarcastic way either... this enthusiasm is because he has been searching since he graduated last April. He's a graphic artist. AND... it was well worth the wait! because he now has a job with MTV Canada. Doing animations and such. I'm so proud of him, because i know the stress and perserverance he went through to get where he is now.
Love you Peter. Dreams are coming true.
Here is his site.
See his talent for yourself...
I was also graced with his talent this summer...I'll post the work he created for me at the end of the blog.
Also, I just finished reading a great book. and again it was a book assigned for a class that I'm currently taking. I love when i actually enjoy school. Anyways, its a Margaret Atwood book. Called The Handmaids Tale. I can't say why exactly i liked it. I believe it was the way its was written. full of uncertainty and suspense. and the political aspect and metaphors throughout the story. I love the characters strength and the idea of how we adapt and keep going. but most of all...when theres something to look forward to... as sense of hope ... and above all Love. I stresses how we all need to be free ... be human... and this freedom comes in our ability to make mistakes. On a personal note...sometimes i find myself gravitating towards mistakes just to feel sane... just to put myself into perspective... to remember why i need to keep going, trying. the rate will always rise and fall and rise again.
In the past two days while reading this book in the Library... i was accompanied by Armin Van Buuren's - A State of Trance Mix 2005. The first CD is so incredible! So many good tracks that I can't keep up. Trance is my Angel. Thank you.
Life is beautiful.
And currently listening to Jose Amnesia feat. Linn "Closer" [Vocal mix] December 13 NeverlastingFor a little while now, I've been thinking, wishing... that Christmas lasted until late February. Suddenly when the 25th is over, winter isn't as much fun. Maybe because i don't like the cold. yet, its more than that. I love the jingles that we hear on the radio or on TV comercials. Winter isn't the same without it. Even if you keep the Christmas lights up, the music on... its still not the same because the community spirit shuts down with the holiday. i like the collective i guess... in a sentimental way of course.
MWAHZZ
November 30 Welcome VISA 1120Just to let everyone know, the following is an assignment for an internet course I am taking called Introduction to Visual Culture. The objective is to understand our visual culture by becoming consciously aware of the images we see in a day. So here it is:
After waking up in the morning, the computer is turned on and my desktop display reveals one of the first images of the day. The picture projected is my favourite electronic group Above and Beyond. Suddenly a window pops up from MSN Messenger. This program provides all kinds of visuals, and file sharing. The latest version allows members to use a picture of their choice to represent themselves. Furthermore, without Messenger this current site would not be available. My MSN Spaces account is a place where I can create my own visual culture by posting photos and sharing my thoughts, ideas, and emotions with the world. People can also leave responses. Much of the examples provided above are the ways in which visual culture can become a matter of choice. On the other hand, television and other forms of media are greatly limited in options and the viewer is often more passive.
Now to skip a few chapters in my day of visual culture. The following describes the images seen during my commute to work. While taking the local Hamilton Street Railway bus, I am aware of a community that is mainly residential. As I look out the window, I feel a sense of history for there are many old houses and abandoned back roads. Theses hidden pathways are interesting, because they no longer exist in our modern communities. Also, the local shops, bakeries, and variety stores are all independently owned. The popular stores, adverisizements and light pollution are minimal compared to what is seen in a big city like Toronto. However, when you reach the downtown area of the Hamilton, a transistion occurs. The streets become one way and the images are more frequent and dense. Store shops and signs are closer together and therefore more information demands to be absorbed. There is a greater sense of speed compared to the quiet residential areas. In the middle of all this traffic, the City of Hamilton's dominant and iconic characteristic is Gore Park. Here all aspects of the population unite: the young, old, poor, rich, and more. It is a stop and go place where buses meet, workers break, events entertain and pigeons waddle. In addition, Gore Park is full of history with its many monuments and surrounding old buildings.
Please click the images below to experience the visual culture described. November 28 Yet another bookworm break ;o)I've heard of Stelarc several times as i've studied at York, but never really got into completely understanding his ideas. He raises questions about humanity and the role of science and technology. Anyways, I was presented with his website to discover that he believes we are all Zombies and Cyborgs for we never really have had a mind of our own because we all preform involuntarily- conditioned and extremely prompted. obviously, this idea interests me, but i havent had a chance to view the site completely to see if can agree with his theory, but i slightly see relevance to his ideas when observing everyday people around us becoming what they believe society wants of them... all of us do in some way. anyways, if you know of Stelarc, itd be nice to see what you think of his ideas? i hope to get back to u guys on this one. once im done the insanity of school. k, toodles
oh yeah, here is the site http://www.stelarc.va.com.au/index2.html November 24 Romantic ScienceMakes me dance on my tippie toes and stretch to move like no ones watching me. above and beyondYEah, so i stumbled upon a live radio broadcast of Above and Beyond. AMAZING!!! and i could have seen them this summer!%#@ i really hope they come back to toronto in the new year! Look out PVD these guys may be just as good as you. but dont worry you'll always be my trance hero. Anyways, I'll be looking forward to hearing their live broadcasts every Tuesday. I just have to figure out what time itll be here when its 10pm in the UK.
Love you guys.
Shit. actually, I just realized its 8pm in the UK making it 3pm here. Sorry about that.
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